So long, and thanks for all the cupcakes

I never thought this day would come, but after over two years of job-editing joy it’s finally time for me to leave GAAPweb and try something new.

In all the excitement of finding a new job it’s easy to forget about all the things you’ll miss about your place of work but as my last day gets closer I can’t help thinking of all the things I’m giving up…

Hell Pizza for instance – I’ll now be out of delivery range at my work address as well as my home address – I’ll have Brimstone withdrawal symptoms by the end of the month.

And, even more heart breaking, I won’t be able to pop over to The Hummingbird Bakery in my lunch break anymore and so will miss out on a regular supply of the best cupcakes in London. Actually though, I won’t miss the question I get asked every time I order a box of cakes for the team – “Are these to eat in or takeaway?” There’s nothing makes you feel quite so much of a chunk as someone assuming you could eat your body weight in cupcakes in one sitting.

But back to the last day ramble…

As well as thinking about all the things you’ll miss, as your final week heads to a close, you’ll also want to consider how to handle your last day. You might just want to slip out unnoticed but then you run the risk that the following Monday your ex-colleagues find themselves staring in confusion at your desk trying to remember if anyone used to sit there – it’s nice to be remembered for at least a week after you’ve left.

Of course, you should also be careful of going to the other extreme. Anyone who regularly utters the phrase ‘well they can’t sack me – can they?’ after handing in their notice is probably worth paying attention to on their last day as they’re likely to be making a Desperate Housewives style dramatic exit. I’ve been trawling the net for inspiration (I didn’t even have to pretend I was actually doing work this time) and here are a few tips for last day etiquette:

Some things to avoid:

Stealing office equipment – Not just paper and pens like you usually do, your last day is the day to really make up for being underpaid for the last few years – right?’ Hmmm – though it’s always nice to feel you’ve got your money’s worth I wouldn’t get carried away and try to take your computer or anything like that. You can’t be sacked. You can be arrested.

Leaving speech honesty – Ok so it’s the moment you’ve been day-dreaming about every time a colleague annoys you, but actually it’s not a great idea to turn on everyone the second your leaving present is in your hands. You might need a reference, you might end up working with an ex-colleague in the future, or maybe you’d just be happy in the knowledge that there’s not an entire office of people somewhere who think you’re a prat.

Refusal to let go – Everyone knows one of these people – the kind who are still emailing to ask how a project is going and offering suggestions four weeks after they’ve left. Perfectionist is a polite term – control freak is more accurate.

And a few things you should definitely do:

Make good use of your security pass – Everyone has a local crazy person. If you live in London you probably know several. The end of your last day is the time to thank them for the years they’ve dedicated to rambling at you in a well-meaning but incoherent way - by giving them your security pass. Explain to them about the free tea/biscuits/sofas/access to a fresh audience and let them loose on your ex-colleagues. This is a prank that everyone can enjoy – your ex-colleagues will enjoy the break in routine that the disruption will cause and the Security Guards will finally have a reason for being there.

Share the wealth – If you’ve been in your job for any length of time you’ll no doubt have acquired a selection of trinkets that sit around your desk. There are usually one or two things you’ve inherited from ex-colleagues, something out of a cracker from the Office Christmas party, or in my case a selection of toys representative of the Kinder Egg collection 2007-8. Taking these things with you to your new job is the equivalent of still having all your childhood toys on your bed at 30 – it’s time to pass them on.

Prank your replacement – I’m not suggesting you do anything really horrible but it is wise to take a few precautions to ensure the ‘new you’ doesn’t fit in too quickly. The best thing to do is to kindly offer to pass on your induction pack – but a slightly updated version. Inform them that it’s fine to get in anytime before 11 and that the term lunch ‘hour’ is more a suggestion than an actual time limit. Don’t make it too extreme or they’ll never buy it – nobody is going to believe you when you insist that every Friday is ‘Dress like a Dinosaur Day’ (everyone knows that Friday is ‘Come as a Condiment Day’).

Obviously I’ll be on my best behaviour on my last day, partly because I expect my security pass to be confiscated the second this blog is published. But also because I’d like to be invited back to join the Web Stars in their pub quizzes (I’ll revise, I promise) and I’m lucky enough to work with lovely people who I’ll actually miss (which is actually quite worrying, because they do say that if you don’t think there’s an office weirdo – it’s you).

Well that’s all from me – I’m off to revise for Thursday’s pub quiz – I’ve got to earn my place on the team now!

Comments

[paper shredders]

I am really pleased to post my comment on this blog . It helped me with ocean of knowledge so I really belive you will do much better in the future . Good job web master .
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[Paper Shredder]

This Is a very informative blog , I am really pleased to post my comment on this blog . It helped me with ocean of knowledge so I really belive you will do much better in the future . Good job web master .
http://www.shredderwarehouse.com

[Melissa]

Refusal to let go Mhairi? I hope you weren't referring to a certain former Head of Marketing calling to ensure that Meet Up was still going ahead say a month after I left! I am glad to see it still is though! Control freak stepping away now!