Monday - I was having the sort of afternoon that made me long for infancy. I quite fancied being left alone to pour liquids between different receptacles, whack seats with wooden spoons and make magic potions out of mouthwash and talc. Sadly, if you try and do any of these things in the workplace, questions get asked. I decided to compromise and get some crisps and fizzy pop.
I took all the web team's orders and went upstairs to the vending machine. I fed the money in for Maz's (Diet Coke and ready salted crisps if you want to know), pressed the relevant buttons and they tumbled out obediently. I put my money in and pressed the button for a Diet Coke, which fell to the bottom with an angry thud. This was all going really well.
I pressed to get some salt and vinegar crisps, and the machine whirred into action. Then the crisps decided they were in the mood for a bit of fun.
Instead of doing what they'd been asked, they made it look like they were going to come out far enough to drop, but stopped just short and dangled at the end of the spirally thing. I swear I heard a little crispy giggle.
All at once I felt deprived, incredulous, victimised and bitter, like someone had just picked up my dinner, ate half of it and pushed the rest into my face.
With all the righteous anger I could muster, I shook the machine. Not only did the crisps fall out, but the machine coughed out a 20p that wasn't mine. Ha ha.
Friday, Maz handed over a penny she'd found on Sunday outside Waterstone's in Clapham Junction station.
Week Fifty-five
How much found: 21p
Total found so far: £41.98
How it could now be spent: a pair of Hoggs of Fife Moleskin Breeks (well, anything Madonna can do...)
Apologies for the absence of Penny Millionaire last week. I was at the wedding of two of my very good friends - congratulations Rob and Jennie!
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